Toy Story 3
"Toy Story 3" is the final installment in Pixar's franchise about Woody the Cowboy, Buzz Lightyear, and all the other playthings. Their owner, Andy, is now heading off to college, and the toys are accidentally donated to a day care center where they receive unexpectedly rough treatment from the rowdy children. Woody then leads a charge to get them all back home and into the safety of Andy's attic. When the toys don't even want to be there, you know it's a bad day care center! New toys debuting in this movie a purple teddy bear, voiced by Ned Beatty, and a Ken Doll, voiced by Michael Keaton. When Keaton was playing Batman 20-some years ago, I bet he never dreamed that he'd someday be downgraded to playing Ken. "Toy Story 3" is surprisingly mature for a family film. It's about what happens to toys after someone stops playing with them. The only choices are donation, storage in the attic, or the local landfill. While the movie is full of humor, it also has real depth, and it never condescends to children, even when it's dealing with issues of abandonment and retirement. Once again, the geniuses at Pixar prove that an animated feature can actually have genuine substance to it. "Toy Story 3" is funny, heartwarming, and poignant. It's also a beautiful end to a magnificent trilogy. (4 stars)

The A-Team
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of movies based on old TV shows, especially when they're as poorly done as "The A-Team." This is a loud, violent, sometimes nasty adaptation of a show that was kind of goofy and fun. Once again, we get the story of four Special Forces soldiers, now played by Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, that guy from "District 9," and some UFC fighter. After being wrongly accused of a crime they didn't commit, they set out to find the real culprit and clear their names, yadda yadda yadda. It took three screenwriters to come up with this basic plot, and it still doesn't make sense. The main draw for a lot of people will be the action, which, frankly, I think sucks. In any action-heavy summer movie, you need to forget about realism and just go with the flow. However, the action sequences in "The A-Team" are so blatantly preposterous that it's impossible not to scoff at them. Plus, in an epic bit of miscasting, Jessica Biel plays a high ranking military officer. Right - and I'm a Chippendale's dancer! The movie version of "The A-Team" doesn't feel like it's in the same spirit as the TV version of "The A-Team," and I found myself growing bored. So to sum it up: I pity the fool who has to sit through this movie! (1 1/2 stars)

Get Him to the Greek
In "Get Him to the Greek," Jonah Hill plays a young record company employee charged with getting an out-of-control rock star from London to L.A. in time for a big comeback concert. And it isn't Courtney Love. Or Axl Rose. Or Amy Winehouse. The task is easier said than done, considering that the rocker, played by Russell Brand, is a drug-addicted sex fiend who drags Hill into his hard-partying orbit. If this sounds like the recipe for an outrageous comedy, it is. "Get Him to the Greek" has plenty of big laughs, many of which come from Sean "Puff Daddy - Puffy - P. Diddy - Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Do" Combs as a temperamental music mogul. At the same time, the film is also a cautionary tale about the hazards of the "sex, drugs, rock & roll" lifestyle, as Brand's character realizes that his life and his career are in a tailspin. The character is loosely based on Brand's own personality before he got off heroin and went into a sex addiction clinic. I'll hand it to the guy: he gives a performance that is very authentic without ever becoming too self-seriousness. At times, the tone of "Get Him to the Greek" is a little uneven, and some of the big comedy scenes aren't as funny as the movie thinks they are. Even so, the humor is on target about 75% of the time, plus you get a terrific, star-making turn from Russell Brand. So I say, get yourself to a theater to see it. (3 stars)
 

Shrek Forever After
"Shrek Forever After" is the fourth and final installment in the popular series about America's favorite ogre. America's least favorite ogre is, of course, Jesse James. In this chapter, Shrek has grown bored with domestic life, so he strikes a deal with the conniving Rumplestiltskin to have his old life back for just one day - the life he had before he become a lovable movie character who inspired three sequels and a billion dollars in merchandising revenue. This deal propels him into an alternate universe where Princess Fiona is a freedom fighter, Puss in Boots is a fat cat, and Donkey is a slave. Realizing that his life wasn't so bad after all, Shrek has to find a way to defeat Rumplestiltskin and get things back to the way they were. "Shrek Forever After" is the most unusual film in the series, in that it has a much more serious story than its predecessors did. The movie lacks the rapid fire jokes and goofy pop culture references that seemed to define the franchise, replacing them with a more mature plot about an ogre having a mid-life crisis. While it may not hit the sublime comic heights of Shrek and Shrek 2, there was enough here to make it work for me. The story is dark, but still touching, the animation is superb, and the 3-D is nicely utilized. I love these characters, and if you do too, then "Shrek Forever After" is worth seeing. But it's definitely time for this saga to quit while it's ahead.
(3 stars)

 

MacGruber
Has there ever been a "Saturday Night Live" sketch that was less conducive to a feature film adaptation than MacGruber? It's a one-joke bit, where the joke is repeated again and again: MacGruber tries to diffuse a bomb using mundane objects, but is unable to prevent it from exploding. On the show, he's repeatedly blown up; in the case of "MacGruber," the movie is the bomb and it's the audience that suffers. To compensate for an extremely thin plot, the filmmakers have decided to spoof the kinds of 80's action pictures that typically starred Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzengger. Highly decorated veteran MacGruber (Will Forte) is called out of retirement when a former nemesis gets his hands on a nuclear warhead, with plans to use it for suitably evil purposes. He assembles a ragtag team of helpers - played by Kristen Wiig and Ryan Phillippe - to track down the pass codes, thereby making the warhead itself useless. Spoofing action movies is, by this point, not a new idea anymore. It's been done to death, so watching "MacGruber" poke fun at the conventions of the genre has no appeal. It simply points out the same things that all the other action movie spoofs have already pointed out. I really didn't find this movie to be funny at all. You can see the majority of the punchlines coming well in advance of their actual arrival. And since most of the jokes revolve around sex, bodily fluids, genitalia, and/or bare buttocks, it's particularly easy to guess what the payoffs will be. This makes for a very long, arduous viewing experience. Once again, the powers that be have proven that "SNL" sketches are probably best left in New York, live, on a Saturday night. (1 star)
 

Robin Hood
The world needs another movie version of Robin Hood like Lindsay Lohan needs another DUI arrest. For proof, look no further than "Robin Hood," starring Russell Crowe in the title role. This is a revisionist take on the tale, which means that instead of leading a band of merry men through the forests of England in a little green hat, he's now a surly Australian who looks like he's ready to throw a telephone at somebody's head. Yes, this version is a lot "darker" and "grittier" than we're used to, and there's absolutely no swashbuckling. Seriously, no buckles were swashed in the making of this movie. Instead, as Robin Hood tries to fight corruption in Nottingham, we get a lot of exposition about unfair taxation, royal lineage, and inter-country politics. You know - boring stuff. I'm kind of ashamed to admit this, but "Robin Hood" was so deadly dull to me that I eventually zoned out and stopped paying attention. Russell Crowe sleepwalks through his performance, and co-star Cate Blanchett doesn't have enough screen time to make Maid Marion a fully realized character. Even the action can't save it, because there's not nearly as much of it as the advertising would lead you to believe. This "Robin Hood" is so bad, that I officially forgive Kevin Costner for his weak 1992 version of the tale. (1 1/2 stars)
 

Iron Man 2
Nothing bums me out as badly as when a movie I'm super-excited to see turns out to be a great big disappointment. Fortunately, "Iron Man 2" is not one of those films. In fact, it's a supersized serving of awesomeness! Robert Downey, Jr. returns as billionaire industrialist Tony Stark. This time around, the government wants his Iron Man technology, a rival industrialist wants to run him out of business, and his assistant, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, wants to win his heart. Then there's Mickey Rourke as the villian Whiplash, who wants him dead. I guess Iron Man stepped on one of his chihuahuas or something. "Iron Man 2" makes the mistake that a lot of superhero sequels make: it tries to cram in too many fan favorites. In addition to Iron Man and Whiplash, we also get Scarlett Johannson as Black Widow, Don Cheadle as War Machine, and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. While the plot may be all over the map this time, "Iron Man 2" still delivers on the things that are most important. The action scenes are fantastic, with some mind-blowing special effects. We also get more of the compelling character study of Tony Stark, who is once again played brilliantly by Robert Downey, Jr. And if anyone has earned the title "Iron Man," it's Robert Downey Jr. It's kind of interesting how, through these movies, Iron Man went from being a second tier Marvel superhero into being one of the most beloved. I think that's because the movies fundamentally deliver the thrills, while still finding the humanity beneath the costume. "Iron Man 2" isn't perfect, but it sure is a lot of fun. Now let's all keep our fingers crossed that they don't screw up "Iron Man 3." (3 1/2 stars)
 

A Nightmare on Elm Street
"A Nightmare on Elm Street" is the latest horror movie to get the reboot  treatment. In case you don't know what a reboot is, that's where they take a horror movie that was perfectly good the first time around, then remake it so that it sucks. Jackie Earle Haley bravely steps into Robert Englund's shoes to play Freddy Kruger, the knife-fingered killer who inhabits the dreams of innocent teenagers. Of course, the catch is that if Freddy kills you in your dreams, you die in real life, so the teens spend a lot of time trying not to fall asleep. Which is appropriate because I was trying not to fall asleep during this movie. "A Nightmare on Elm Street" faithfully trots out all the elements you'd expect a remake of Wes Craven's classic to have, yet it doesn't do a single new thing with any of them. The movie is like a Xerox copy of a Xerox copy of a Xerox copy. Jackie Earle Haley is a fine actor, but let's be honest: Robert Englund was too
iconic in the role for anybody else to play Freddy. It's like watching someone other than James Gandolfini playing Tony Soprano, or someone other than Michael Richards playing Kramer. It just doesn't feel right. The film has no scares and no suspense, and I actually found myself growing increasingly bored the  longer it went on. This "Nightmare" reboot has more in common with the crappy Freddy Krueger sequels than it does with the original masterpiece.
 (1 1/2 stars)

 

The Losers
In "The Losers," Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba, and Chris Evans play members of a Special Forces unit left for dead while on a mission in Bolivia. They want to get back to the States and exact revenge upon the criminal mastermind who tried to wipe them out. Zoe Saldana plays the one person who can help them do this. This being a testosterone-driven action film, the lone significant female character of course has to be smokin’ hot, able to kick butt with the best of them, and with access to a seemingly endless fund to finance the revenge mission. "The Losers" is a 14 year-old boy’s example of freakin’ awesome: it has lots of shootouts, lots of explosions, and lots of gratuitous close-ups of Zoe Saldana’s ass. Any mature viewer seeking a movie with even half a brain in its head will walk away sorely disappointed. It also tries way too hard to be cool. There are constant fancy camera movements, funky editing, and sequences where the action is alternately sped up and slowed down. You can feel it trying to be edgy, yet it fails consistently. I cannot fault the actors; they are not the reason why the picture isn’t very good. In fact, the stars keep The Losers from being a flat-out disaster, managing to generate some collective chemistry despite having a dull, formulaic screenplay from which to work. But the bottom line is that this premise has been done before, and it's been done a lot better. (2 stars)

The Back-Up Plan
"The Back-Up Plan" marks a major comeback for Jennifer Lopez. Unfortunately, she's come back to making crap. In this insipid romantic comedy, J. Lo plays a single woman who hears her biological clock ticking. Afraid she'll never have children if she doesn't get moving, Lopez pays for artificial insemination and, sure enough, gets pregnant. Wouldn't it be funny if the donor turned out to be Ben Affleck? And she named the child Gigli? Immediately after learning of her impending motherhood, she meets the man of her dreams, a professional goat cheese maker. I'm not making this up. Then she has to worry about whether or not he'll freak, knowing her situation. This could actually be an interesting premise for a movie that wanted to take it seriously, but "The Back-Up Plan" treats it in a very bad sitcom way. There's no genuine human emotion here, just a lot of painfully contrived romantic comedy cliches, executed in almost robotic fashion. Much of the humor is played very broadly too, which only further robs
the story of any real meaning. Jennifer Lopez looks gorgeous on screen, but she has absolutely no chemistry with co-star Alex O'Loughlin. I'd rather watch a dog romance a fire hydrant than watch these two romance each other. "The Back-Up Plan" is yet another example of an assembly line chick flick that ends up insulting the intelligence of its female audience, and anybody else unlucky enough to have to endure it. (1 1/2 stars)

Kick-Ass
"Kick-Ass" is the story of Dave, a high school dweeb who decides to make his own superhero costume and fight crime on the streets of Manhattan. Hey, it's a lot cooler than joining the Chess Club! He meets up with two other homemade heroes - a disgraced cop named Big Daddy (played by Nicolas Cage) and his 11 year-old daughter Hit Girl - and joins them in their quest to bring down a mafia  boss. "Superbad"'s Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays the mobster's son, who creates his own superhero identity, Red Mist, to protect his father's business from all the other crazy people who like to dress up in costumes. "Kick-Ass" is the latest comic book to make the jump to the silver screen, and it's also one of the edgiest. I mean, Hit Girl uses every four letter word in the book and brutally kills the mobster's henchmen with a smile on her face. 11 year-old girls are supposed to be watching "iCarly" and swooning over Justin Beiber, not creating bloodbaths! The provocative nature of the material may put off some viewers,
since most of the graphic violence is either committed by or carried out upon children and adolescents. If you look a little deeper, though, I think the story is saying something quite interesting about how young people need to realize that  real-world violence is a lot different than comic book violence. "Kick-Ass" has  been made with great style and energy. It's funny, it's exciting, and it's very, very cool, provided you like dark, edgy, satiric superhero stories. Which I do. So for me, "Kick-Ass" is an appropriately titled movie. (3 1/2 stars)
 

Date Night
"Date Night" stars Steve Carell and Tina Fey as the Fosters, a self-described boring married couple from New Jersey. To try to spice up their marriage, they drive into Manhattan to eat at a hip new restaurant. We know it's hip because Will.i.am is there. Will.i.am is the epitome of hipness, even though you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who actually listens to his music outside of an aerobics class. When they can't get a table, Carell and Fey steal the reservation of an absentee couple, but are then mistaken for blackmailers and chased  through the city by two crooked cops who want them to return a flash drive they don't have. You've heard of "dinner and a movie?" Well, this is "dinner and running for your life." The idea of an innocent date turning into a life-or-death situation is a little thin, but "Date Night" does something very smart: it dials down the mystery and dials up the dynamic between the couple. Even when having guns pointed at them or participating in car chases, the couple's marital issues come to the surface and take over. That's funny, and the two leads do a great job of making the characters' marriage woes seem relatable. Carell and Fey have obviously been given lots of room to ad-lib, which was a masterstroke. These are two of the smartest, sharpest comic geniuses working today, so they turn a ridiculous plot into something hilarious. See it with a date and who knows you might get lucky. But see it by yourself if you have to. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in quite a while. (3 1/2 stars)
 

Clash of the Titans
"Clash of the Titans" is a remake of the 1981 cornball classic that paired Sir Laurence Olivier and Harry Hamlin. How did anyone think the remake could ever top that? Sam Worthington plays Perseus, a young warrior who tries to stop angry gods Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes from unleashing a hideous beast known as the Kraken upon humanity. You've heard that "Release the Kraken" line, right? Sounds like a euphemism for something really, really dirty. The gods are angry because humans no longer worship them properly. They don't sound like gods at all; they sound like big babies. "Clash of the Titans" has a lot of cool monsters, including gigantic scorpions, the snake-haired Medusa, and, of course the Kraken itself. Whenever the characters were fighting hideous beasts, I was relatively entertained. That stuff works. The actual plot, however, does not. Whenever the monsters leave and the people take over, the movie quickly becomes boring. Part of the problem is that no one here is very interesting. Sam Worthington has been in three major movies in the past year – “Terminator: Salvation,” “Avatar,” and this one - and he hasn't shown an ounce of personality in any of them. Honestly, I was kind of rooting for the Kraken, because at least that thing - whatever it is - has some charisma. "Clash of the Titans" is about 60% good stuff and 40% junk. Oh, and by the way - the movie was actually filmed in 2-D and converted to 3-D at the last minute to take advantage of higher ticket prices. I say, release the Kraken on whatever greedy studio weasel came up with that idea. If you're going to see it, see it in glorious 2-D. (2 ½ stars)
 

Hot Tub Time Machine
“Hot Tub Time Machine” represents an example of the phenomenon known as Great Title, Middling Execution. Three guys have three separate problems. Adam (John Cusack) has just been dumped by his girlfriend. Nick (Craig Robinson) has been cheated on by his wife. Lou (Rob Corddry) is a suicidal alcoholic. Together with Adam's dorky nephew Jacob (Clark Duke), the pals decide to take a vacation from their problems by returning to the same ski resort where they shared many a wild time back in the 80's. They get their old room, party heavily in the old hot tub, and somehow wake up in 1986. Before they can decide how to get home, they have to figure out if they even want to, of if they’d rather stay and re-live their own lives. Part of the problem with “Hot Tub Time Machine” is that it doesn't really know what to do with its premise, and so we get the same-old same-old: romantic entanglements, a guy getting revenge on the punk who once beat him up, etc. It’s kind of disheartening to see a bold concept employed to fuel such hackneyed subplots. The actors give it their all, and occasionally something legitimately funny happens. I especially liked Chevy Chase as a shady hot tub repairman and Crispin Glover as the resort’s one-armed bellman. However, I simply didn't laugh as much as I wanted or expected to. “Hot Tub Time Machine” is watchable, but with an awesome title like that, wouldn’t you like to have it be a whole lot more? (2 ½ stars)

The Bounty Hunter
In "The Bounty Hunter," Gerard Butler plays - get this - a bounty hunter who is hired to track down and bring in his ex-wife, a reporter played by Jennifer Aniston. He's happy to do it, but she doesn't want to go, which leads to a wild chase throughout the streets of Atlantic City. This is yet another example of a Bickering Couple Movie, in which two characters use excessive passive-aggression to mask the fact that they are actually falling in love with each other. And if you think that's a spoiler, you've obviously never seen a romantic comedy. The problem with a movie like this is that you have to endure a lot of hate before you get to the love, and there's a truckload of hate here. Aniston tases Butler and punches him in the groin, while he throws her in the trunk of his car. Because that's how real people express their love. My wife is in the trunk of my car right now. The meanness wears thin, as does an action subplot about a drug dealer who is also chasing the couple. You can tell the filmmakers wanted to create something that appealed to both guys and girls, so they mashed up a romantic comedy with an action flick. The stars play variations of characters they've played before in other, better movies. They also cashed nice fat paychecks, while we in the audience are left to watch this turkey. "The Bounty Hunter" isn't funny, it isn't romantic, and it isn't something I want to talk about any further. (1 ½ stars)

Alice in Wonderland
Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" isn't a remake of the classic story we all know and love. Instead, it's kind of a sequel. Alice is now 19 years old. On the day of what's supposed to be her engagement party, she goes wandering through the woods and falls down the rabbit hole - again. Once back in Wonderland, she finds herself in the middle of a battle brewing between the evil Red Queen, played by Helena Bonham Carter, and the more benevolent White Queen, played by Anne Hathaway. Fortunately for her, Alice also reunites with some old friends, such as the Mad Hatter, played by Johnny Depp. Incidentally, Depp manages to out-weird even himself in this role. If Capt. Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka had a love child who was then raised by Hunter S. Thompson, it would be the Mad Hatter. Nobody creates a fantasy world quite like Tim Burton, and Wonderland is like his ultimate playground. The visuals are beautifully designed, with the 3-D effects primarily used to immerse us more fully into this wonderfully strange place. Plus, every so often, the Cheshire Cat suddenly materializes an inch in front of your face, which is cool, unless you're stoned, in which case it might be kind of terrifying. I think the storytelling could have been a little tighter, but still, who wouldn't want to visit Tim Burton's Wonderland? It looks great and the performances are fun. The movie isn't going to become a classic, but it's an entertaining way to spend two hours. (3 stars)

 

The Wolfman
Werewolves have been getting the short end of the stick on screen lately. I'm sorry, but Jacob Black is not a real werewolf. Real werewolves are too busy chewing people up to work out at the gym and romance moody teenage girls. For this reason, I was pretty excited about the new R-rated remake of "The Wolfman." Benicio Del Toro plays an actor who falls victim to a curse that causes him to grow fangs, claws, and hair all over his body whenever the moon is full. He then goes on rampages where he runs around biting innocent people. You know, putting one of those lampshade-looking dog cones around his head would put an end to that. Emily Blunt plays the fiancee of Del Toro's late brother. She believes that true love might be able to cure him of his affliction. "I'm in Love with a Werewolf" - sounds like a topic for the Maury Povich Show. There is much to like in "The Wolfman" and much to dislike as well. The basic problem is that it can't decide whether it wants to be old-fashioned or cutting edge. At times, the film employs old-school makeup effects for the creature and focuses on being highly atmospheric. Other times, the werewolf is created through CGI and the movie becomes graphically violent and action-heavy. That inconsistency of tone prevents it from ever really taking off. Some of the werewolf attacks are definitely cool, and Benicio Del Toro gives a delightfully wacko lead performance, but in the end, "The Wolfman" is too scattershot to have any real bite.
(2 1/2 stars)

Crazy Heart
In "Crazy Heart," Jeff Bridges plays a washed-up, alcoholic country singer who's been reduced to performing in dive bars and bowling alleys. On the plus side, he now regularly bowls a 220. His life starts to turn around after he meets - and subsequently falls in love with - a much younger journalist, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. He also starts thinking about getting his career back on track by dueting with his former protégée, played by Colin Farrell, who's now a big time recording star. The question is, can he truly change, or is he too committed to living the stereotypical country music image, which of course is all about having bad relationships, boozin' it up all the time, and just generally being a loser. This is why I listen to pop music. Jeff Bridges gives the performance of his career in "Crazy Heart." He so fully embodies this character that you're very likely to forget that you're watching an actor. Bridges does all his own singing too, and he's completely credible. Colin Farrell sings as well, and while he might not be the next Keith Urban, he ain't too bad. I'm not entirely sure I totally bought the romance between the aging singer and the young journalist, but it really doesn't matter. The love story isn't the focus here; the character's transformation is, and Bridges makes that transformation deeply compelling from start to finish. We're still over a month away from the Oscars, but I'm calling it now: the guy wins Best Actor. Bet on it. "Crazy Heart" is a rich story with good music and one of the finest pieces of acting you're likely to see. Don't miss it. (3 1/2 stars)

Edge of Darkness
"Edge of Darkness" represents Mel Gibson's first on-screen appearance since 2003. Gee, I wonder what he's been up to the last few years. He plays a Boston cop whose adult daughter is shot and killed on his front porch. This, of course, pushes him over the proverbial edge, and he vows to find those responsible and make them pay. Mel Gibson definitely goes ballistic, but nothing he does in this movie is anywhere near as crazy as the stuff he's done in real life. The search for answers leads him to discover that his daughter was involved in a vast conspiracy with far-reaching implications. Also, he keeps crossing paths with Ray Winstone, who plays a mysterious "fixer" in charge of making sure matters of national security turn out the way the government wants them to. We're never sure which side he's on...but that's largely because Winstone mumbles all his dialogue as though channelling Mush Mouth from the old "Fat Albert" cartoons. "Edge of Darkness" is a middle-of-the-road movie for me. The scenes of Mad Mel getting revenge are a lot of pulpy fun. Even though he now looks a day older than dirt, Gibson is still credible as a butt kicker. What works less well is the conspiracy. It's way too complicated and weighty for what is essentially another "Death Wish" ripoff. And the film has to keep stopping the action so that secondary characters can come in and explain what's going on. To conclude - on the Mel Gibson scale, "Edge of Darkness" isn't another "Lethal Weapon" but it ain't "Bird on a Wire" either. (2 1/2 stars)
 

Tooth Fairy
"Tooth Fairy" may have the worst concept in the history of cinema. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays a professional hockey player who is forced to spend two weeks working as a tooth fairy after taking the money his girlfriend left under her daughter's pillow in exchange for a bicuspid. So in other words, it says that tooth fairies don't really exist, but then has the main character turn into one. This movie is so stupid, it doesn't even play by its own rules. Of course, Johnson screws up the job, which causes him to butt heads with the Fairy Queen, played by Julie Andrews. If you guessed that working as a tooth fairy ultimately turns him into a better man, pat yourself on the back and take a shot of Listerine. I guess we're supposed to laugh at the image of Dwayne Johnson wearing silk
pajamas and spouting wings, but it actually seems kind of pathetic. Johnson used to be a pro wrestler who beat people over the head with folding chairs and made action movies. His most recent efforts have just turned him into a clown for children. Dude, it's time to grow your manhood back! Start kicking some butt again! The jokes in this film are so old that Neanderthals probably drew them on cave walls, and the story's attempts to be touching may literally make you gag. Nothing - and I mean nothing - about the movie even remotely works. If someone gives you the choice between seeing "Tooth Fairy" and getting a root canal, choose the root canal. It'll be less painful. (1 star)